Friday, April 6, 2012

Ready..... get set...... WAAIIIITTT!!!!!

So a couple of things... I was scolded the other day because I hadn't written in a while and I had promised I would write again. So here I am . The Biggest Loser contest at church is over but only for a couple of weeks as everyone enjoyed doing it so much they decided to we should do it through the summer. So unfortunately for some of you who have been my biggest cheerleaders I am going to need you for alittle longer. I actually will probably love to have you around for the rest of my life but I know that is asking too much. We only really have one week off but I am not looking at it as being off. I have been going to the gym and I haven't honestly been watching what I eat as much but I do have to say the last 3 months have changed my choices alot! Today Xavier and I both had the day off and we spent it outside because the weather was nice and we had errands to run and I normally would have grabbed a diet coke and I really actually wanted one, but I honestly tried to remember what it tasted like and I couldn't remember so I decided not to get one. It seemed so weird for me to actually keep with something I had kind of promised myself. Maybe this time is really a big change for me. So with the Biggest loser being done I ended it with a 21 lb weight loss and I lost a total of 9 inches. I have tried to look at as I didn't lose ONLY 20 lbs but that I lost 20 lbs in 3 months and that if I keep doing it I will lose 20lbs in the next 3 months and so on that by my birthday next year I will have lost almost 100 lbs. I think I can do it. At least I hope I can!!
 I titled this ready set wait because I feel like I am on a path but I keep getting set backs sometimes. Everyone knows how much I dislike exercise. I have never kept that hidden it is certainly something I am sure everyone knows. I know that I have a lot of weight to move around and I am sure it will get easier at some point when I have lost a good amount but I keep feeling like I should be feeling alot different. I have been going to the gym pretty much everyday but maybe 2 days a week and I keep thinking it will get easier to breath and keep going. I have gradually moved up from working out 15 minutes to being on the machines for an hour. I have been doing it for an hour for the last month and I just find myself still struggling to get through.It is like one day I do it and I don't have a problem but then there are nights( like tonight) when I just get on a machine and I am starting and things are going ok and then all of a sudden I have a hard time breathing and my legs hurt and in my head and  my body I am screaming I can't do this!! I can't keep going!! It is too much for me!! It was so bad tonight that I had to text my friend Alison because I really just wanted to give up. Thank goodness she was available because I really would have gotten off the ARC trainer (machine of death as I so affectionately call it). I really truly felt like I couldn't go on. But because she is one of my cheerleaders she kept texting me that I could keep going and I could do it. When I finished I knew that the only thing that got me through was God (because I was praying alot too) and Alison. I have come to realize that I need the support everyone has given me and I need it to continue.
 So if you are reading this and you have been one of those people who cheered me on please know that I am truly grateful!! I need it!! As much as I try to make myself come across as a strong person, i know that I really need to hear from everyone. Now it is on to Biggest Loser Summer edition. If you have it in you please continue to write me and email and whatever it takes because I need you and I thank you for all you have done for me so far!!! I am hoping it gets easier and that I continue to see results. So if you are reading this and you thought since biggest loser was over that I would stop writing... well I guess you are incorrect I guess I will be writing this for some time and I am hoping to be better about writing. I will try to write a couple of times a week. I look forward to sharing with you the rest of my journey and I covet your prayers!!!!

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