As everyone knows I am going to Mexico on Thursday. I am really excited but since you read this you know that my last post I was hoping to lose 30lbs by the time I left and I was going to be better about writing. Well neither happened. I haven't written anything since then and I actually gained 2 lbs the week I wrote about being better but then I lost them last week. So I am still 4lbs from 30. I know that sounds great but now I have to add my worry about going on my vacation.
As a big girl I always looked forward to going on vacation because it was a great time to eat. I am the girl that literally didn't plan anything else other than where I was going to eat and when I could fit some extra food places in. Now as I get ready to go to Mexico I am not only thinking about what I can eat but what I shouldn't eat. I am excited but I am also scared. As a fat girl going back in the direction you worked so hard to get away from is devastating and as many times as I have done it I have never been this close to a weight that I haven't been at for many years! I want to go on this vacation without having to worry about anything but I realized this afternoon that this will always be a worry even if I reach my goal of 100lbs. I also know that I am not going to be perfect on this trip. But I think that things I have learned and the goals I have set will help me keep some perspective. I know my mom and hopefully Xavier will be an encouragement to me to try to stay in line. It is really kind of scary to think about the challenges I have to deal with on this trip. I am excited about being able to relax and get sun and have food and spending time with my mother and my son but in the back of my head is the number that is going to show on the scale when I get home.
So with alittle excitement and apprehension I will say I will write when I get back about the trip and hopefully it will be a success with sun and good food choices!!! Wish me luck!!
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