Sunday, January 29, 2012

The good with the bad!!

Today was a day of many unexpected events. It was weigh in day and we also did our measurements. Again I had kind of worked my butt off at the gym. I had taken a couple of days off because of work and church but I made it for it by working out extra hard Friday and Sat. I went for an hour and half at the gym between workout and weights and then Sat. at our weekly last chance workout I did 4 miles in 45 minutes and I burned 580 calories. Knowing that I could do that really kind of made me feel like this might not be totally impossible. I still feel like it is impossible but I am going to try to not have such a defeatist attitude. I don't want surgery or try anymore fad diets I just want to change my bad habits and in the process lose weight. The good part of the day came at weigh in. I lost 2.9 pounds and a total of 5 1/4 inches(almost 3 from my waist). You know when you are almost 300 lbs. it just seems like a drop in the bucket. For someone who is 140lbs that is an amazing loss. In just a few pounds a smaller person would notice how differently their clothes fit. I am still yet to see any difference in my clothes. Well while I am writing this I was just trying to figure out how much weight I have lost and in 4 weeks I have lost 9.9lbs. IF I can continue a 10lb weight loss each month in 10 months I will be 100 lbs smaller. I think I can do it but it is still hard to change some habits. I still haven't had any Diet Coke and there are times that I really really want one and today I almost gave in. I think there is a part of me that feels like if I give in to Diet Coke will mean I give in to this whole process. I know it isn't that bad for me but I also know it's not that good for me either and I am trying to get away from things that aren't so good for me.
  Which leads to the bad part of the day... I had decided if I had lost weight that I would celebrate and go out to eat, another way to know you have an issue with food when you reward yourself for a loss by eating. Something I haven't really done since I started this journey well other than Subway and I am not sure that is really eating out. So I decided we would go to Moe's. I had saved some money for the day and knew it would be good time with Xavier too. I figured how bad can Moe's be? Its grilled meats and beans and whole grain tortillas. Well when I got there I had decided I was going to have Nachos then when I looked and saw that Nachos were going to be 1550 calories I then had to change my mind. The more I looked the more upset I got. I am standing in line with my phone app figuring up the caloric intake for each thing I wanted I was getting more frustrated. I said to Xavier "I am not going to worry about calories today" He just kind of looked at me and said "I am" and here I was thinking he was going to go for the nachos too but instead he went for the 800 calorie item instead. Granted that's alot of calories but he was really being aware of what he was eating. He didn't even get sour cream on it. I forgot to tell you that today he lost 3.2 pounds. I have been so proud of him. He is really on board with this. I just hope I have the strength to keep us both excited. He was so cute he was playing with the other kids and after he knew I had weighed he stopped playing and came running to see how I did. He makes me so proud. He seemed so proud  of me. I am so blessed by God for giving him to me.
  So while we were sitting at Moes I got a text message from my cousin Rick that my favorite uncle had passed away after what seemed to us like a short battle with pancreatic cancer but he has really had it for almost a year probably. I know that this sounds weird but I realized that after getting the news and letting it sit for a few minutes and got myself composed in the restaurant I for some reason thought the food tasted better than it had when I started eating it. It is very strange that I had never noticed this before that when I eat and I am upset by something the taste of the food seems better therefore I find the comfort in the food (MY BOYFRIEND!!!) I didn't want to eat anymore but I really truly noticed the change in how I felt about the food. I have always said I am not one of those people who eats when I am sad or depressed or happy or whatever but I eat because I love food. I still believe that is true but I also realize that my addiction to food is more enhanced by those feelings. Food really does have this strange affect on me. So with that being said I am trying to look to the next 4 weeks to lose another 10lbs. So I covet your support and prayers and all the encouragement is appreciated beyond anything I could possibly say. So please keep it all coming!! Off to the next 4 weeks.
 I will miss you Uncle Raymond!! Your were the best uncle! I wish we had had more time together thru the years and that my son could know you more!!! Give Uncle Arlin and Aunt Wanda and Aunt Jo and Aunt Nona and Uncle Gene and Aunt Margaret and Aunt Donna and everyone who is there a big hug from me and we will see you in heaven!!!

2 comments:

  1. 9.9 is awesome! That's better than 2lbs a week - and honestly, a slow loss like that is more likely to stay off, so you're right where you should be!
    I love Moe's! I did figure out one of their dishes you can make pretty healthy (I can't remember now because ours closed over a year ago). I would always ask them to put extra lettuce on it so it's a little more filling w/o adding calories.

    My tip for eating out is to look at the website and decide what you'll order BEFORE you get there. Most restaurants these days have nutrition info available on their sites. The smells become overwhelming and it's easier to cave when you walk in the door & choose the wrong thing. If you decide before you go, you can be sure you're making a smart choice when you have time to think about it. Plus, I liked the anticipation of looking ahead of time.

    Woot woot! Keep up the great work! It'll start to show before too long.

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  2. Fantastic! I am so glad your first month will serve as another source of motivation for you. My only caveat, having bounced up and down 40 or 50 lbs my entire adult life, would be to not project ahead how much weight you 'should be able' to lose each month. Early on the weight comes off fast for big people because your body responds strongly to lower calorie intake and increased activity. Then at some point it's as though your metabolism says, "This must be her new normal. Better try to hold on to some fat in case a famine is coming and there are no mastadons. " So you work just as hard, eat just as carefully, and lose maybe 6 pounds, or less in a month. ?!*%#@!! And you think that somehow you've failed, you're behind on your goal, WHY is this unfair AND so hard??? -- and this is when so many people get discouraged. The thing that gets people through these plateaus is activity (NOT less food!), a little bit more exercise and maybe doing something a little different. Which, as you shed more pounds, will actually get easier and even somewhat enjoyable. Think about a long bike ride with Xavier on a gorgeous spring day....
    You are doing SO great! Remember all the other reasons you are on this journey. It's not just the weight. You are learning so much about yourself and how your body responds to your care. Stay strong!

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