Week 3 I give up....

So the week didn't start off great with my less than stellar weigh in, and things have just seemed to get worse. I really can't put my finger on it but I am really frustrated. The funny thing is that when I am so close to just saying "oh well today will be a bad day so I might as well just eat what I want and drink a Diet Coke" I get someone saying something to me or I get a great post on my wall. I think it is funny how God works. He knows me so well and when I least expect it someone is sent my way to just give me that extra push to say "just keep going". I have always been the person who thought I can do anything on my own. I THINK I can do it on my own but my life really goes to show that I can't do anything on my own. I need to rely on God first and foremost but the fact of the matter is I crave the encouragement I get.
  This past Sat. my friend Alison and I went to do our last chance workout that we have promised to do every Sat. When I got into the locker room one of my favorite people to ever work with was leaving and she came up to me and said "you are the reason I am here. I figured if you can do it I need to." I know she didn't say to boost my ego but to encourage me. I was actually kind of floored that someone could really think that I was an inspiration. I didn't see it and when I get home there is an email from her saying that she really meant what she said. I honestly started to cry because I am such a bad example. But it was one of those things that really just made me say "I can keep doing this". So Sunday night Xavier was sick and I was home with him on Mon and so what a great excuse to not go to the gym. AS the day went on Xavier started feeling better and I needed to go to the store to get him some soup and he said I should go to the gym while I am out. So I did. It wasn't one of my better workouts but I spent 42 minutes on the elliptical which was something I wanted to accomplish and I did because I could feel so many people really kind of powering me thru. Well Xavier had the stomach bug and I was pretty sure I was getting but I kept talking myself out of it because I knew it was in my head because I had been around him for 2 days while he was sick so of course I was going to get it. On Tuesday I had pretty much made myself feel sick but I had said I was going to go to the gym, and I am really working on following thru with what I say to myself. I did go to the gym and when I got home, my friend Janice that I knew from Liberty had posted a sign on wall on Facebook and I almost cried again because the sign was so dead on to how I was feeling. If you didn't see it the sign said...." Slow down, Yell out. Grit your teeth,feel the burn, CRY, JUST  don't stop! Believe you will make it. I couldn't believe that Janice being so far from me knew I needed that little boost. I do want to give up to be honest. I do want to just eat what I want and never exercise again. I would be lying if I said otherwise but the truth is even though I WANT to give up.... I CAN'T give up. This isn't just about me anymore. This is about living the life I should have lived and making sure my son learns he has to make a change before it is too late. I hope it's not to late for me and like I have said before I am hoping by next year I will posting on here that I am 200 lbs or less. I know to some that sounds high but for me it will be 100 lbs. I want to live a new life and show my son we can have a much better life than how we are living. A healthy life.