Soooooooo Frustrating........!!!!!

This week has been one of ups and downs and I keep thinking maybe things will be on an upswing. I had felt pretty good all week. I had gone out to dinner with an old friend and had a great time. I didn't eat a ton of food and as much as I wanted to I didn't drink soda. I had been trying to find satisfaction in the smallest things. As the week went on I worked out as much as I could. I didn't have my usual work out partners every time so it was alittle more difficult to motivate myself but I did go. I wasn't able to go on Tuesday because I went out to dinner but I did go for at least 45 minutes on Wed. I even went the days that no one was with me. Friday Xavier and I went to the gym and on the way home I said to him "lets go to church and see how much I weigh and maybe that can give me a sign into where I am at and what I should change." I had felt good because even though I was tired I had gone to the gym. I had never done this before because I usually just wait until Sunday when we weigh in at church. So we get into the church and find the scale and I take my shoes and as much as I can off and get on the scale and it says I weigh 285.1 that is a 3lb gain. I was devastated. I had worked so hard and eaten nothing but Subway and salads and drink mostly water all week. I wasn't pms'd and I just couldn't figure it out. I knew it was evening and I knew it may be up but not by 3 lbs!! I almost lost it and I knew Xavier could sense how upset I was. I tried to pretend like it didn't bother me but he knew and I knew. I at that point just wanted to go eat anything and everything but I didn't. We did go to Moe's which I thought would be healthier than most places but it really isn't. That is one thing I learned this week and that is I am better at just cooking things myself no matter how tired I may be. While at Moe's I realize I really should watch what I am eating and I got something that was about 600 calories as opposed to the 1200 calorie thing I was thinking originally and I had worked out for over an hour so I figured it might work.
  Well it's Sunday and its time to weigh in. I am usually the last to weigh in just because I weigh in everyone first and see how things are going. It makes me kind of stressed but I want to cheer everyone and try to keep people motivated even though I am so worried that I won't lose. Today everyone weighed and it was my turn and I got on the scales to see I was only down 0.8 lbs. I am now down to 281.5 a little close to the wall but not quite there. My total weight loss is 18.8 lbs. I know I keep saying this but for smaller people that is a significant number but you weigh as much as I do it just doesn't seem to amount to much. We did measure today to and I don't have the numbers right with me but I did lose at least an inch or 2 in every area. I just wish I could see the difference in things I wear.
  I am kind of anxious because I am going away this weekend to see friends I haven't seen in a very long time and I know we are going to be in a place where I can eat everything I love but I so want to get past 280 lbs soon. I need to do it soon!! It is my birthday this week end too and I would love that to be the best present I could give to myself. I just hope I can do it!!!