I know that it's been a little while since I wrote and I apologize but I do have a teenage son and I have been spending time with him and traveling to see him play basketball games and just being a mom. I may not always be good at it but I want him to know I am always here for him and I am his biggest fan. He may not play much but I still can't wait to cheer him on when he gets out to play.
The title to this is post is kind of funny but the other day I was trying to clean out my front passenger side floor so my son could get in and not step all over trash and when I reached to down to clean it up I realized that what I was picking up was such an extreme from what had been there before. Instead of McDonald's cups and wrappers I was picking up Planet Fitness water bottles and tootsie roll wrappers(they have a bucket of them as you leave PF as a treat after working out). If anyone knows me at all they know how McD's has always been a big part of my life and may have been, if not the whole reason but a big reason of why I am sitting here today writing this blog. I started working at Mcd's when I was 16 and even before that it was such a treat to go to Mcd's. Pretty soon it wasn't a treat it was kind of an addiction. I had always joked at work that I believe they put something in the food so that people would keep coming back and to some degree I think that it might be true but no way to prove it other than my weight continuing to rise. I look back now at how huge I thought I was and I was an XL weighing about 200lbs. I sit here today writing this at 288. Almost 100 pounds more than when I worked at Mcd's. NOT to say that I stopped going to Mcd's by any sense of the word but I think I actually went more. I had at one point been going everyday. I would say it was just to get a Diet Coke or I didn't have time to make breakfast. There was always a reason when truth be told I didn't just get a Diet Coke. I would get a cheesburger or chicken nuggets or sometimes even both. I then started getting breakfast everyday because it was easier to go thru the drive thru. I could leave the house alittle earlier and get a hot breakfast instead of eating cereal or something. One day after my daily breakfast of a bacon, egg and cheese biscuit and a hashbrown, I was walking into work from the shuttle I was having a hard time breathing and almost like chest pain. It wasn't the type of hearattack pain that I hear about but it was enough to scare me but it didn't stop me. I thought it was just I was tired or coming down with something. So as the day went on I was fine. So the next day drive thru again and the same breakfast again the same pain on my way in, but I still didn't stop. I joined a weight control group a few years ago and one of the challenges the leader gave me was to stop going to Mcd's. I thought she was alittle off but I decided to try it. Oh believe me I still go Diet Coke from other places but I did stop going for several months, and surprisingly my chest stopped hurting. So I stuck with it until it became inconvient to not go or at least that is what I told myself. So I started going occassionally when I needed something to tide me over until dinner and then it just progressed to the point I was getting something and then having dinner and snacks later too. I also loved their Diet Coke. I don't know what it was but that was my whole rationalizing was that I needed to get a Diet Coke. Well the pains started again and I decided to stop getting anything other than Diet Coke, which worked for a while. Well we know that being healthy is not always easy and so like dieting this was all up and down for me. Sometimes I was really good about it and other times not so good and I would continue to go. It wasn't until I started seeing what I was doing to my son that I realized something needed to change. It was nothing for us to order a meal and chicken nuggets and other stuff and I saw my son getting heavier and heavier and at one point stopped looking at myself and saw the damage I was doing to us as a whole.How can I stop? I remember one day cleaning out the back of my car and I had a tall kitchen garbage bag and it was full of fast food containers and bags! I thought I hope that none of my neighbors see this. How sick is that that I wanted to hide my poor habits from my neighbors but I was wearing it all over in the form of FAT!!!
With all that being said I will be honest and say there are still some fast food bags in the back seat of my car but the stuff that was in them was in no way what it used to be. We got breakfast of Egg mcmuffins and when we go we look at the fat and calorie content and most of the time we leave and go to Subway. Xavier has made huge decisions and amazing strides in this whole adventure which I hope will continue. He will talk about what he wants and then ask how many calories and how much fat is in it and then changes his mind. So now we have come a distance and there is still a long way to go but to honestly say that I would much rather be picking up tootsie roll wrappers and water bottles than fast food wrappers is a huge thing!! And my hope and prayer is that as time goes on it will stay that way!!
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