The dreaded week 2

So today was week 2 of our Biggest Loser contest at church and like the Biggest Loser we had chalked it up as not going to be a very good weigh in. Seeing as I am in charge of weighing in everyone I decided to wait until the end, but I couldn't so after a couple of people had weighed in and had either gained or lost alittle I thought oh great maybe I am going to gain. I did add weights to my workout so if I gain it's going to be the ole turning fat into muscle. So needless to say I was alittle anxious and not to mention I hadn't pooed like I thought I would and so I knew I was probably holding onto to a pound or two. I know too much information but as a fat girl all your life you  realize that one good poo means a pound!! So with much hesitation I got on the scale and much to my surprise I had lost 3.3 pounds and that was having had a good breakfast and not having had a good poo in a couple of days!! I was alittle excited and in the end I had lost the most weight this week. I hope I can continue to do this. I know as much as I hate exercise and going to the gym it is really making a difference.
  We have had special services at church all week and tonight was the culmination and the message was really good about not having a heart divided and he used a story to make a point and it was about a nail and holding on to that nail and hanging all these nasty things on it to get what you want. I realized that my nail that I hold onto is my fat. It has always been there and I have learned to use it in all kinds of ways. I can make fun of myself and other fat people because I am fat. I have learned to kind of dress myself so that I am least in some way fashionable even for a fat girl. I try to make myself look better than most fat girls. I don't have a man because I am fat. With all that being said I think to some degree it became my security blanket (my nail). I can't do something because I am fat, I can eat what ever I want I am already fat, I am a good cook because I am fat. See where I am going??? I didn't go forward tonight to give it to God because I gave it to him a couple of weeks ago and I haven't actually taken it back. I really feel this time that I am doing this for so many reasons and that most importantly I handed over my eating and the lack of control to God. I do realize God isn't going to come down and take the food out of my mouth or tell me to stop eating, but I do know that this is something important to me and to my relationship with my son and my family and God.
 I am also excited to say that even though Xavier didn't lose this week he didn't gain alot and he realized how important the "boring" workouts were to helping him lose weight. I let him start practicing basketball again but he realized that it wasn't as good as the workout he had been doing with me. So please keep him in prayer that he will be able to get the exercise he needs this week. He is being so good about watching his calories. I am really proud of him. Even if he just realizes how important this is to his health that is key and at least a stepping stone.
 Again I can't thank everyone enough for all the support it has really helped me in ways you have no idea.