So much ....

I have debated about starting a blog because of many reasons but the reason I am starting it is because I have started so many things and never finished. I am hoping that the day will come when I can say I have accomplished my goals. The reason I titled this So much... is because I have been so encouraged by just this simple start to something that is so difficult for me and millions of other people. It is a journey. A journey that will take longer to finish than it took to start.
 I made a comment on a friend's facebook about punishing myself because I let myself get to this point but it really is hard to not feel that way about yourself if you are overweight or have a bad body image. I thought about that comment and realized that I do have to in some since of the word punish myself. I rewarded myself for so many years and went from a fit 180lbs to an unfit and flabby 300 lbs. well 296 because I lost 4 lbs this week. I am so ashamed that I have to say I weigh 300lbs but I realize that if I went on the Biggest Loser people would see it anyways so there it is out in the open.
 As part of my attempt to lose some weight I decided to cut out something that is so associated with me that even my best friend's son said WOW Tia (that's what they call me) Looovvvees Diet Coke. You could come to my house at anytime and I would have 2-3 2 liter sodas on my counter and I would go thru them in a day or two. Some weeks I was grateful I drank so much Diet Coke because I would be able to return the bottles to get groceries or little things we might need. I would start my day with a D.C. then I would have some for lunch and then dinner and maybe some before bed and even some sitting by my bed during the night. Wow!! I know I drank alot of D.C. So if you read my facebook you know that I didn't do it cold turkey and honestly I am still not out of the woods. I started with what I had left in the house from the holidays and then decreased day by day. I actually still have a caffeine free D.C. sitting on my dining room table. I don't really know why I decided to quit drinking D.C. but I am hoping I do see benefits. I guess I figure it's beyond time to make a change. It has been 2 days with no soda at all and can I tell you that when we were at the grocery store today and I saw that D.C. was buy 2 get 1 free I was sooooo tempted!! But I turned the corner and didn't give in!! They say it takes 21 days to make/break a habit so I only have 18ish more days to go!!!
So now onto the Biggest Loser competition. I think it was at choir practice ( I really don't remember when it was) we were all sitting around talking about The Biggest Loser and how we should have a similar competition and I said well lets do it.So I organized it and decided to start January 1st because it actually fell on a Sunday. We decided to make the contest go until April 1st. We weigh in every Sunday. There are 16 people involved which is exciting. Today at the first weigh in it was so nice to see everyone encourage each other. I hope it continues to happen and we keep up the enthusiasm. I will be posting some of the recipes I have tried so stay tuned. I have really liked everything so far. I hope thru this I can encourage and help people to do the same things and to maybe not get to the point I am at in my weight. I don't feel 300lbs well not until I try to get off the couch or out of bed. I am going to try not to be depressive and try to be my usual self. If I say something that you might think is self deprecating please understand that I sometimes handle things that way and I am OK with it and if you can't laugh at yourself how will others laugh with you. So thanks for joining me on my journey. I hope I can reach the destination I have set before me. I know it isn't going to be easy and I will have ups and downs but here we go........